I hate myself.
Since I remember every person that was my friends would tell me that I was pretty, my family too. Maybe they always knew how insecure I am about my own image.
Do not think that I hate myself because I like it. I would give anything to love myself.
I don´t know how many times my boyfriend tells me that I am a beauty. That he doesn’t see anything wrong in my image. I so disagree.
I make him crazy when I just don´t believe in him.
It is sad but it is the truth, there is probably nothing in the world that is going to make me like myself other than myself.
Today, in my photography module, me and two girls were sent out to take portraits of people. One of them asked me to pose. In my being I knew: ” Oh NO, please don´t make me look at pictures of myself”.
She sent me the pictures after and it was a disaster for me.
Most of the time I can be okay with being ugly but not when confronted with my own pictures. I disgust myself. Not joking.
In the vibe of trying to explain my point of view and trying to see what is good on my own image I tried to fix one of my photos in photoshop.
Can you see the differences?
Here is a more detail one:
This is not a call for attention or to someone to be sad for me.
This is me, a troubled young girl, trying to explain what is in the mind of THOUSAND of young girls when seeing their own images.
Even though I hate myself it doesn’t mean that I don´t put myself out for challenges where I can learn how to start liking myself. This is one of them.