I struggled with mental health for a year and a half and I still struggle with it today.
Last year I faced bulling when moving in to the UK. That made me fall in a cycle of depression and anxiety. I only freed myself from it when I decided to change my University course because it meant a change in my scenario, it meant more than just a different course.
Before I came to the UK I studied Science in Portugal. I always wanted to be a marine biologist, expect that time that i wanted to be a astronaut.
But 3 years ago in a trip to Spain I had an accident and I had to go under a surgery in my right knee. And a really long and painful recovery.
My other two passions were writing and performing but I never thought that I would make that into a real job. Until after that accident when I started to think about it. I wanted to perform. I loved theatre. I wanted to make people laugh.
So I came to the UK thinking that I was completely right in my choice even with all of my family saying otherwise.
I started my Performing Arts course on September 2016. I gave up on it in May 2017.
Sometimes you are so convinced that you know what you want that you don´t see anything other option.
Unfortunately I always had a failure complex. I couldn´t afford to fail. The “decision” of pressing myself to enjoy that course + the bullying + the fact that I wasn´t home and alone= destroyed me.
When I choose to change my course from Performing Arts to Journalism I really felt relieved but sad. And scared. I was so scared to make a mistake again.
I didn´t! I am happy with my choice.
Here is a few of my mantras that I learned in the middle of all of that:
Don´t be afraid to fail.
This was one of my worst mistakes. Never fear failure. It is a good thing. If I never had failed in choosing the right course I would never had go to journalism. And I love journalism now.
Don´t think about the others.
I was so afraid of what people would say. I already had lost one year because of my accident. I didn´t wanted to be the loser that was two years behind my friends. Which is bullshit! Because you make your own path.
Don´t retreat to the bubble
You know what I am talking about. If you step in that bubble of depression you are dead. Or you will want to be. I wanted to be. It is so easy to step in but so hard to get out. Please don´t go in. Thing about how much colour is in your life. I know that you don´t want to die. You want everyone to know how much pain you are feeling, you want help because your body and mind can´t take it anymore. Giving up is not an option. You are stronger than you imagine.
It is possible! Don´t ever think that your situation can´t change. EVER.